The last year has without a doubt been a year of ups and downs. There have been good times and rough ones as with any year. One of the many things I am personally grateful to God for is that sometimes he brings clarity in the midst of confusion. Last fall, we were put in the position of having to close Real Life. Some agreed it was time, others wanted to find a path to stay open. I understand that. The decision I made brought with it many things, the loss of friends that I once considered close, the continued and growing friendship of others. If I had to make the same choices today, I believe I would make the exact same decision.
The last year has been good for my soul. I've had a lot of time to reflect, and quite honestly, shed many tears. I've had sleepless nights, and nights that I've slept like a baby over things. One thing that keeps coming back to me from God and some other people that I know and trust has been them asking me if I felt regret over it and the answer is still no. I just had nothing left to give. Real Life had drained me. Most of that is MY OWN FAULT. I wanted to do more than we really needed to do. I thought doing it would help create an atmosphere where people would be more inclined to invite their friends. And perhaps to some extent that was and is true. But, at the end of the day, I only had so much emotional and spiritual energy, and quite frankly April and I about went broke financing the church and paying it's debts off.
Over the last year, here is what I have come to miss and wish I could have back. Real Life was the closest thing to true Biblical fellowship I have ever been a part of. We shared meals, we laughed and cried together. When one of us hurt, we all hurt. When someone needed help, there were more people than you'd ever need showing up to help, and without resorting to shaming people into helping. People came because they wanted to, they came because they loved each other, and more than that, they genuinely cared for one another.....I haven't seen that anywhere else yet, and if there is one thing I could put in a bottle and take with me everywhere and teach other churches how to do it I would in a second.
In that way, Real Life was and is the closest thing to authentic New Testament Christianity I have ever been a part of. So when I am asked if I have any regrets, honestly, the answer is no. Could we have made a few different decisions sure, who can't say that. I am proud to have been able to be used by God to put something like that together....I miss you guys.
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