Driving back to our vacation rental after a fun day at a Disney water park I heard Dennis Rainey say something so profound in terms of marriage I thought it needed to be shared and expounded upon here. He said "if you are looking for a single trait that defines what a successful marriage is it's this. It looks like and acts like a team." Successful marriages are defined by whether or not both parties are working as a team. Dang. That is so simple, yet so profound.
So that begs the question: How can marriage be all about being a team? It's simple, yet very difficult. The only way a marriage can become about team is when the two people in the marriage learn to serve each other and make sure their needs are met before worrying about their own needs. Having said that, I understand how difficult that is. Everything in this world says it's all about me. But, the key to a successful marriage is putting the other person first and me second.
You might say, well I would do that, but you just don't understand how selfish my spouse is. All that they care about is them. If I did that I wouldn't have anything for me.....I hear what your saying, but the truth is, I have never seen a relationship where one person is selfish and the other one is selfless. Usually, both are pretty selfish in there own way. You might argue, I'll stop worrying about me, as soon as the other person stops doing "XYZ." I am hear to tell you, if that's what your waiting for it'll never happen.
Your job is to worry about your heart being in the right place, not about the other persons heart....In Matthew 20:28 Jesus said " For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." If Jesus came here to serve others what makes you think you can make things about you and find happiness in a marriage or anywhere else for that matter?
More on this topic later this week....
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing that Jeff. That is a simple but beautiful way to put it. It looks like a team.
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