Sunday Morning Reflections

The last couple of weeks have been bittersweet in many ways. I've been trying to process all of what went down over the last 4 years at RL. Some really good things, some not so good things, and a whole bunch of stuff in between! In all things, God has always provided. It's interesting that even at the choice for us to close the church down we were facing a lawsuit for breech of our lease and other bills that we were not able to pay.

Over the last few weeks we've seen God provide for us again which further cements in my mind that it was time for us to close. We've had people write checks to help cover the expenses, it's been two weeks and we've managed to sell everything RL owned, with 90% of the stuff going to other churches!! We've been offered a settlement on our lease that is very reasonable and really what we had agreed to in the first place. All that said, we now have enough cash to close out the last of the churches obligations and we can settle them without ever falling behind in a single account!

God always provides for his people. For the last six months we prayed for something different. But in the end God had a plan and he took care of his people. It's not always pretty, it's not always neat, it doesn't always take the shape that we dream up, but he's a good God!

Sunday Moring Movies: A Lesson From Nixon

So, this is the first Sunday morning I haven't had anything to do in like 12 years. I woke up this morning at 7 am which is actually sort of sleeping in for me. I was flipping through the channels and looking for something to watch. Anyway, I was trying to decide between watching some thing churchy (it is Sunday!) or watching news or a movie or something along those line. I ended up watching the movie Frost/Nixon.

Now, being a history guy I have always been fascinated by Nixon. I mean a guy with so much going for him and everything to loose. Why would he participate in a cover up and all the stuff that went along with Watergate? So, I am watching this movie and the whole premise of it centers around a series of interviews between British Journalist David Frost and Richard Nixon. Frost is trying to get Nixon to admit his wrong doing. For Frost, it's really all about the scoop that no one else had gotten. Nixon is being typically Nixonian in that he is controlling the interview and controlling how he is seen by people. After all if Nixon can control the story he has the ability to allow people to see him, not as he really is, but as who he desires to be seen as.

It's not until the very end of the interview, which historically, took several days to shoot does Nixon start to drop the image and just be a real person. There were so many spiritual truths that I saw in this movie I was jut blown away....So let me give you some:

• Nixon needed to come clean with himself: He was living a lonely life and spent all his energy trying to keep up the lies he had lived. Coming clean was important for several reasons. First, Nixon needed to come clean so he could stop living the lie....Biblical principle Number 1: We need to stop living lies and come clean with the truth about our own lives. We'll never be free if we are willing to live life without truth about ourselves.
  
• Nixon needed to come clean with America: People were hurting because someone they trusted let them down. Until Nixon came clean healing couldn't begin. Biblical Truth #2: Come clean with those you've wronged. They know what you've done and until you do they cannot trust you again. Not only that, many times your confession is really the starting point for their healing. America didn't really begin the healing process until the confession from Nixon. It still took years but when Nixon finally admitted his wrongs, that's when it started.
• Nixon didn't confess until Frost tossed his clipboard to the ground and spoke from his heart. By getting off the beaten path and just speaking his heart Nixon got off his game and started speaking as a person in pain and not as someone who was trying to keep up the front. Which leads to Biblical Principle #3: If you want to make progress with people you have to get off the beaten path and speak to them from your heart. If you're going to have a canned conversation with someone you can expect canned answers. If you're willing to get real and be a real person you might just get a real person back.
  

Who'd have thunk Nixon would have brought all that out? I could have listed the Biblical passages I was referring to in my principles but that would mean I am spoon feeding you. If this post struck up a nerve do a little research in the word and check it out for yourself!

Week one - Odds and ends

So this is our first weekend where we basically have nothing to do. It's really very strange. For years the weekend was a build up towards whatever was going on sunday morning....either the message, music, or whatever. This weekend I strangely feel none of that.

Tomorrow we are taking some of our flat screen TV's to another church so they can test run them and see if they'll work in their place. I hope they do, I really wanted our stuff to go to other churches who needed things rather than just sell it to the rest of the world. If this works out, about 90% of Real Life's stuff we were able to funnel into other ministries!

We also got a offer to settle up on our lease today. We don't quite have the cash for it yet but we are praying that we'll have it soon. For April and I that's the last big hurdle we feel like we need to address before we can put everything behind us and start moving forward with whatever it is that God is going to do next in our lives.

Had a nice conversation and dinner with Ralph Thompson tonight. We are looking at putting together a band to play some stuff out at clubs. We want to be able to take some Christian crossover music and some clean fun classic rock stuff and go entertain people with a good message. Hope to get going on that soon!

A whole new phase.

For the last 4 years I served as Pastor of a great church. I loved the relationships, the people, and honestly the job of pastoring. As of Saturday, that was all gone. I have been asked by a ton of different people how I am doing and how I feel about Real Life closing and honestly it's hard to give an honest answer that would make sense to them.

Allow me to explain:

• Real Life was something that God breathed into me years ago. Now that it's no longer here it almost feels like I have lost a child. So there is a real and tangible sense of loss.
• Real Life also took up most of my available energy (emotional and physical) so while, I have a sense of loss, there is also a part of me that feels that pressure has been lifted off my shoulders because I can take some time and catch my breath.
• Real Life was the primary source for my relationships. Which was great and bad at the same time. I loved the people but my love for the people in many ways took me away from other friends and family that I should have spent more time with. Now that RL isn't there I am excited about reconnecting with some people that have been on my heart for a long time and I just couldn't get with.
• I am taking some time to go over things we did right and things we did wrong so that I can learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of the church as a whole. That is a painful process to actually look at your actions and think I coulda, and shoulda done XYZ different.
  
• I am sometimes happy as I think back and celebrate the good things that happened. Thinking about the people that stepped into ministry for the first time. Watching them stumble...then catch their feet and start to succeed. That was awesome to see and brings me joy even in the midst of feeling a sense of loss.

I could go on and on but to say that I have mixed emotions would be the understatement of the world!

We'll I need to get back to my day job. Those Papers will not write themselves!

Real Life, Blogging, and Me

Real Life: It's been a surreal kind of week since we have decided to close down Real Life. I have spoken to our folks about the details that made up that decision and why we had to end so abruptly. So I will save those details for our people and not posting them on my blog. Quite frankly, it's just so heart wrenching to keep writing them down. I want everyone who played a part in Real Life from it's inception to the end that I thank them for their service and you should know that I and many other people have been changed for the better because you allowed God to work through you!

Blogging: A few days ago I thought that I would close my blog down and move on. As I woke up this morning and have thought more about it I think that I am going to keep it open and rather than blogging about my thoughts and experiences as a pastor, church planter, and cheerleader of one of the coolest churches ever. I will write about my continuing spiritual journey. Over the next week I will share some of the emotions and struggles I have faced personally as a pastor, leader, and husband.

Me: Where will I go and what will I be doing next? Right now I don't know. April and I are going to take a few months and not go anywhere or do anything church related. After the start of the New Year we'll pick ourselves up, end our sabbatical and start the process of trying to figure out where we fit in the kingdom of God.

Will I be working in ministry again? Probably, but right now I need to step away and spend some time allowing God to fill me up, hence the need for stepping away for a season.

Sunday Mind Dump

This weekend has been a weird one! Both April and I are in some kind of funk where we just feel like crap. There is nothing specific wrong...just not feeling like ourselves. So Let's dump:

• We have one more Sunday service...then we are switching to Saturday evenings...maybe for a month...maybe longer. We'll see how things go and what everyone thinks about it.
• Nice day at church today! Brett really stepped up and took over for his wife this morning. Nice job Brett!
• Had a really long weekend! Hung out and played some outdoor games with my buddy Stu yesterday. Then April and I took off for Cleveland and the Cheesecake factory! She's been wanting Pumpkin cheesecake for the last few years and we never seem to get it. I made sure it happened for her this year.
• Terrible day of football today. Not a good game on TV period :(
• On the plus side my fantasy teams have done pretty well today!
• See everyone out at the Funeral home for Deb's Dad tomorrow evening.

I am out!

Sunday Mind Dump

For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis you'll notice I took a couple of weeks off froem blogging. Last weekend we didn't have an official church service so there was really nothing to mind dump about. I have also just been running around in a crazy busy kinda way. Hopefully, that dies down soon! So, let's dump:

• Kinda liked that new song Sing to the Lord today. Has a nice swingy feel to it!
• Announced today that Shelley Myers was taking over the kitchen manager duties. She'll be in charge of all things food, kitchen, and greeter related. So, from now all direct all your questions in her direction.
• Looking forward to being able to help the hungry and needy in our area via Food For Thought. It's a cool ministry. You can check out their web site at www.freelunchtoledo.com
• If you could take one thing out of today's message I hope it's this. Each of us are called to be servant leaders. Look at the needs right in front of you and do what you can to meet those needs.
• Only two more weekends of Sunday services. Remember we are moving to Saturday evenings from 5:30 starting the first Saturday in Nov. Getting excited about the possibilities of that.
• This weekends gathering is at our house. Looking forward to having everyone over once again. Remember, when I go for my PJ's that's your clue it's time to go home :)
• Felt like crap all day today. Just one of those days where I am in a complete funk...not sure why other than hoping a good nights sleep will do the trick.
  

I am out.