Like most people, I have experienced my share of pain, hurt, and disappointment. I've felt let down by pastors, friends, and often those closest to me. I've often heard it said "why is it that those closest to me are the ones that hurt me the most?"
There is a simple, yet quite profound answer to that question. The simple answer is that people that aren't closest to us don't have the kind of access into our lives that is capable of causing serious pain to us. It's a tough world and sometimes people outside of our lives will say cruel things to us but we can usually just blow that off right? But I am talking about the daggers that come from those we love and care about. How do we handle that? That's a little harder to do now isn't it?
When trying to answer and deal with this question it's important to understand one principle. Hurting people do hurtful things. I have never, ever met a really well adjusted person with no axe to grind, that would live to say and do hurtful things. Never once. If someone is hurting you they are more than likely hurting themselves and displacing their unhealed hurts onto you and most likely others.
When that happens you have a choice. You can hold it in and start the process of allowing the cancer of hurt to take root in you, or you can offer forgiveness. Most likely forgiveness is the last thing you'll feel like offering but it's critical for your health. Don't hang on to other folks pain. Now that doesn't mean you have to allow them to continue to hurt you. It simply means don't hold it against them. It's for your good not theirs!
Here is a principle I have been wrestling with lately: Forgiveness is immediate and permanent. Trust is earned and re-earned over time. That means that those who have hurt you can regain your trust but it takes time.
I've got some hurts just like you. I can't and won't allow those hurts to define me, control me, or set the agenda for my life. I have to allow God to be on the throne of my life. He says forgiveness isn't optional.
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