Life

This fall my life takes a change. My youngest is off to college...for April and I we are officially "Empty Nester's" whatever that means...I will say that life has taken it's twists and turns over the years and if you'd asked me 30 years ago if I would be here I would've looked at you like you were crazy. I wouldn't trade it for the world though.

Life has been much harder than I could have ever imagined when I was young whipper snapper. It seems like time goes so slow when you're young and so fast when you get older. Enjoy things while they last...Jake and I went out and played golf today...nothing special just a nice round of golf between a Dad and his son...I wish we had more of those days...Make no mistake, I am happy he's off to college, one day that kid could do some really special things...he's crazy talented. But, I will miss the little things....But then again, it really is the little things that make life fun isn't it :)

Enjoy it while it lasts....

Graduation

So, tomorrow we'll head over to the Stanahan for my boy's graduation ceremony. Now, I have to admit, there have been plenty of times over the last four years I wondered if this day would come. Jake is brilliant when it comes to music but just never cared to put much into his school work if it wasn't something that interested him. Music has always been his thing, I wish I had half the talent the boy has when it comes to music...

Jake's got a couple of months to enjoy being a graduate then it's off to college. Let's hope and pray that his love and interest in music moves him through the college ranks and into the work world as a producer....

Family Time!

Tomorrow morning we leave for Florida. It's our last "family vacation." Chelsea is 19 and Jake will be graduating next year and we've kinda made the decision that next year April and I will go alone and the kids can focus on work and school. It's a little bittersweet to say the least.

Being a divorced and remarried dad, we've always looked forward to our summer vacations because it was extended alone time with the kids. Over the years we've taken them to Montana, Colorado, California, Mexico (on a cruise) and Florida (3 times.) We've loved every minute of it....Sad to say this is the last year.

To all you parents of small kids who are frustrated. Hold on, it only lasts for a season. It just seemed like it was yesterday when my little one's were having an argument about whether airplanes take off (the girl)or blast off (the boy) (long story!) They grow so fast.....

Summer

This is the first summer in a few years that I have literally had nothing to do (except a couple of classes I am taking!) It's been nice in some ways. I am enjoying the lack of stress and full schedule. It also feels a little weird as I had been so busy for the last few years I just feel like I should be out doing something.

At some point, we'll most likely be back in full-time ministry and my quiet time will be over. Until then we are relaxing and enjoying it. We're enjoying giving back to God through leading worship at 242 Church and we'll see where God leads. April and I have some things to pray about in terms of where God wants us long term. It's been interesting, we've had a few offers to go back to working in ministry over the last few months, some have been tempting but we're just waiting on God.

Have you ever noticed?

Have you ever noticed how still your home is when you get up a few hours before everyone else? Sometimes I think I'd like to be able to sleep more on the weekends but I really do enjoy the quiet and the time of reflection each and every Saturday. Just me and God alone.

Some of the things I have been reflecting on this morning:

• How blessed I really am. We are all in good health. We have steady jobs and a roof over our head. That's more than 90% of the people on the planet can say.
• I am thankful that despite my shortcomings God still loves me and sees fit to work through me in whatever way he chooses.
• I've been thinking the last few days about how much I really enjoy worshipping God through music. I am not quite ready to go back to being a part of a worship band yet but I am thankful that when God opens that door I'll have a passion for it again.
• I am thankful for the gift of God's son. His sacrifice was more than enough to cover up all my wrongs.
  

Long Way To Go

Over the last few months we've been to a number of different churches. It really is a little surreal going to a church and not having anything to do. I often find myself judging the church and thinking about things I would be doing differently were I on staff at said church. Which proves one thing to me. I am still detoxing from Real Life. I have to get to the point where I am not looking at church through the lens of church leadership and administration.

A couple of things:
First: God places a call on a persons life for ministry. I'll never get away from that. I know what my calling is and someday, in God's time, I'll be back to working and walking in that calling.
Second: That said, at this point in my life I need to get to the place where I am just in church to recieve from Him, give back to Him and serve Him wherever he leads.

It's a tough thing to do. That's why April and I have pretty much decided that we are going to start regularly attending a larger church in the area. It's not a place I could see myself in ministry. It's easy to get lost there. We are going to get involved in a small group and spend the next couple of years just being Jeff and April.

It's going to be tough but we feel it's something we need to do right now.

Still Going Strong

We are still going strong on the eating right loosing weight plan. I have been loosing 1-2 pounds per week. I am still just trying to take things slow and make better choices with what I put into my mouth. Avoiding fried foods and trying to keep the portion size reasonable. I have been watching my calorie intake as well. Just trying to keep tabs on things so I am not eating more than I should be without realizing it. I have been trying to eat around 300 calories for breakfast, 500 calories for lunch and 700 calories for dinner. Then I can have some fruit or string cheese in between meals and I am good for the day. You'd be surprised how much food that actually is when you cut out fried and processed foods!

I also bought a treadmill (which I have to put together today) so I can start getting my ticker in shape. Plus that will help burn through some calories. I am on my way to my target weight. It's probably going to take a year to get there this way, but I'd rather take my time and do this right than do it quick only to gain it all back after the diet is done.

Random Thoughts

Been doing a lot of soul searching and thinking over the last few months and some things have really come full cricle and others are still their floating around in my heart and head. I am starting to get some clarity on some things. So here are some radom thoughts I have had:

• Over the last few months I have had people and pastors ask me if I would ever plant a church again. As of right now the answer is no, and yes. I can't see myself doing another plant that rises from nothing without the support of a mother church. It's simply too hard to have enough support and workers to be viable. I would consider planting again if the situation were correct and we had proper support from a mother church.
• That said, it would be a long time before I was ready to do it again, and even if I were I am not sure I would take on a lead pastor role. I am better suited to be an executive pastor that serves as a church planter then allows someone else to take on the work once it is established.
• I see, at least right now, my next vocational ministry being more along the role of an executive/teaching pastor.
• When you're in ministry you face a lot of criticism. Everyone has a better idea than you do about how you should be doing things. A few things I have learned about criticisms:
• First, unless a person is willing to step up and take a share of owning the problem and the solution, their criticisms are hallow and stink of personal preference and possibly an agenda.
• Second, and this I think rings true whether you're in ministry or not. Never trust a person who isn't willing to sit down man to man or woman to woman and discuss their issues with you. If they are willing to tell their problems to other but not you watch your back.
• Since we closed Real Life I have had 3 offers to come help out other ministries. I am flattered and humbled for that. But really, I just don't feel released in my spirit to do anything right now. At some point I hope and pray God puts that passion and his anointing back on my life but I just don't feel it's their right now. Until that happens April and I are content to sit and wait on God.
• We have however begun the process of trying to find a new church home. We are taking our time and looking for the right place for us.

Random Christmas Eve Thoughts

• I've had a great time the last few weeks hanging out with family. Something I haven't done much of for the last few years.
• So thankful for the Christmas season. The fact that God became man, walked in my shoes, paid the price for my wrongs, and now I am reconciled with him. That's a great gift!!
• Just realized I haven't picked up a guitar in three weeks. That's the longest I have gone in like 6 years. No band practice until after the new year so It's going to be a few more weeks on that too. My fingers are so going to kill me.
• Thinking of two big things over the next few months: First I am considering getting PhD. With all the graduate level work I have now I only need like 17 classes to become Dr. Renner. My mom loves the idea (of course, right.) I am still thinking about it. I am fine with the course work. Not sure if I want to put myself through the dissertation process. We'll see how that turns out.
  
• Second, I am really seriously thinking about writing a book on how God uses teachable moments in our lives to redirect our paths. We seem to coast along fine, content to do what we've always done until he gets our attention and redirects us back to his will. More on this later if I decide to move in that direction.
• We are off to celebrate Christmas with April's family today.
  
• Praying the weather cooperates so we can get our flights tomorrow without issue.

Have a blessed Christmas. Be sure to thank God for the gift of his Son.

Real Life, Blogging, and Me

Real Life: It's been a surreal kind of week since we have decided to close down Real Life. I have spoken to our folks about the details that made up that decision and why we had to end so abruptly. So I will save those details for our people and not posting them on my blog. Quite frankly, it's just so heart wrenching to keep writing them down. I want everyone who played a part in Real Life from it's inception to the end that I thank them for their service and you should know that I and many other people have been changed for the better because you allowed God to work through you!

Blogging: A few days ago I thought that I would close my blog down and move on. As I woke up this morning and have thought more about it I think that I am going to keep it open and rather than blogging about my thoughts and experiences as a pastor, church planter, and cheerleader of one of the coolest churches ever. I will write about my continuing spiritual journey. Over the next week I will share some of the emotions and struggles I have faced personally as a pastor, leader, and husband.

Me: Where will I go and what will I be doing next? Right now I don't know. April and I are going to take a few months and not go anywhere or do anything church related. After the start of the New Year we'll pick ourselves up, end our sabbatical and start the process of trying to figure out where we fit in the kingdom of God.

Will I be working in ministry again? Probably, but right now I need to step away and spend some time allowing God to fill me up, hence the need for stepping away for a season.

Dinner

Been playing with a recipe for chicken enchiladas....we'll see if this one is the bomb or not. I can't seem to find one I really like. If you happen to have one send it my way and I will gladly award you with 1000 brownie points. Make sure you give it to me and not April as she will eat the brownie points and you'll be left with nothing :)

Baby Got Back

April and I just got back from dinner with her family. I could not possibly eat another bite of food today or I will explode. April on the other hand was talking about going to Baskin Robbins tonight not more than 10 minutes after we left her parents. I cannot believe how much that woman can pack away into such a tiny body. Maybe she needs to see a doctor or something cause that aint normal :)

What a day!

Today was a long day and it's not quite over. We started out this morning at the Walk For Suicide Prevention. The church band played this morning and I blessed the walk. Then as soon as that was over April, Tony, and I piled in the van and headed up to Clinton Mi as HallowVox played the Clinto Fall Festival this afternoon. When that was over we drove back. I took April out for dinner and we finally got home around 6pm. Now its 8:15 and I am headed out to see Jakes band play at Ricks music cafe as they have a gig their tonight. They played last night as well but I couldn't get to that one so I have to go tonight.

BTW I am playing Trezzo in fantasy football tomorrow. Who knew he'd be the powerhouse team to beat?

See everyone in the morning!

I've been a slacker

I have been kind of a slacker around the house when it comes to my audio/video stuff lately. That changed tonight! I spent a few hours tonight redoing our family room and rewiring. Last night a guy from directv was here to install a new dish and upgrade our receiver. Our old one was on the fritz and we needed the upgrade. They went ahead and put the new dish up because our signal was pretty week.

Anyway, since that was done I figured its high time I set the family room up for the NFL season. Got the surround sound all jamming and with the new picture we are looking and sounding great. Just in time too. Next weekend we are going to host the first Real Life football party. It's for all the people in the fantasy football league. It's going to be a good time!

See You there!

Facebook

Some friends have been after me for a while to get on the facebook bandwagon. I have been putting it off because, quite frankly, like I need one more thing to keep up with! But, I went ahead and did it and it was suprizingly much more user friendly and faster than myspace. I really like it. Finding your friends in easier and the applications are much more suited for the over 30 crowd like me!

I am diggin it!

So look me up!

A day with the family

Hung out at my Mom's cottage today with my family. That was pretty cool because we really don't get to do that very often. In fact, the last time all three of us boys were together was my Dad's funeral eight years ago. As you can see I am the smallest of my three brothers.
Joel is the middle brother on the left. He's 6'3'' and Ray is the brother on the right he's 6'5''






This is Chelsea and Ray's girl Gabby hanging out on Mom's pontoon. Gabby is a cute little thing!
Man, did she sure love hanging on Chels! It had been two years since we had seen her. Man that girl is cute!









This is My brother Joel's girl Jaina. She had a ball driving the boat. All these kids are getting so big.

Heading to the Lake

I am heading off to my Mom's cottage this afternoon. I am picking up my grandparents and taking the kids. We are meeting my youngest brother who lives in Florida. He and his family are up at the lake for the week. Should be a good time and I am sure that my grandparents will enjoy being up at the lake for the day. The kids always love going up there and we don't go very often.

5 AM

I am up at 5 Am. Why do we decide to get up so early the days we leave for vacation? All that happens is the kids are tired and cranky. The wifes tired and cranky. What can we possibly do at this time of the morning that I cannot do at 8 Am......She beckons......Yes Buttercup....how may I help you this morning.....gotta go!

Gotta Love Mornings!

Lunch with Chelsea

All summer long I have taken one day per week and hung out with my kids. I am alternating weeks and this week it was Chelsea's turn. We went shopping and went out for lunch at this little Mexican place over on Secor.

I really enjoy that one day a week. It's our time we get to catch up on what's going on and just have Dad and kid time. It's awesome that Chelsea just turned 17 this week and we can still hang out. I really like that. I gave her a little bit of a hard time because her Mom allowed her to get her nose pierced. I am not mad or anything, it's just fun making her think I am :)

Gotta love being a Dad!

Lawnmowers and Kids

So two years ago I bought one of those 200 dollar Wal-Mart specials of a lawnmower. It was a decent mower, self propelled, not too much else. It ran decent for my yard. At the beginning of the year I had to take the darn thing in to be serviced because it wouldn't start. Turned out it needed an oil change, new plugs, a new blade, and come to find out there was water in the gas line. So that needed cleaned.

It took the people six weeks to get the thing fixed. It cost me $110.00 to fix a $200 mower. I got the thing back and it ran great. Until today. Enter my 14 year old son (whom I do love.) He wants to make some cash because we are going on vacation in a few weeks so he is going to cut the grass. He has the thing running for less than a minute before he runs over something and destroys my brand new blade (that I just had put on.) Needless to say, I now have $131.50 in parts and repairs in a $200.00 mower. I could have saved myself $21.50 and just gave him 10 bucks to do nothing. Would have been cheaper!

Jake is now on double secret probation. Wait till April hears about this one!